Margaret Wente describes December 6th commemorations as “a large helping of overheated nonsense” in her December 8th column entitled “Montreal massacre death cult.” She proceeds to claim that “women in Canada have never been safer than they are today,” that, while women still experience spousal abuse, “the laws are tough” and that Marc Lepine’s actions were “random,” the result of a troubled childhood and not an act of “homicidal misogyny.”
Wente says that December 6th is “an annual excuse for fevered breast beating” and that we need to “get a grip and move on.”
I considered ignoring Wente’s column for what it is: her most recent effort at feminist baiting. But I just can’t. I cannot ignore a column as hate-filled, inaccurate and misleading as this one.
It is, however, hard to know where to start my comments.
I could, in response to Wente’s self-satisfied contention that women make up three-fifths of all university students, suggest that she take a few more words to tell us where those university-educated women find themselves in the workforce; to tell us how many of them become heads of surgery or senior partners in law firms; to tell us, as a recent survey did, that women with post-secondary educations in Canada earn just 68 cents for every dollar earned by men.
I could point out that the “tough” spousal abuse laws to which she refers still allow men to breach bail and restraining orders with impunity and continue to abuse, and even kill, their partners while they are under court orders to have no contact with them.
I could ask her why she makes no reference to Canadian family law, which is a virtual prison for women with children who leave an abusive spouse.
I could challenge her assertion that “social tolerance of it [spousal abuse] has all but disappeared" by suggesting she read the comments made by friends and neighbours in newspaper accounts of domestic homicides.
I could compare December 6th, a national day to commemorate the victims of violence against women, with November 11th, an international day to commemorate those who have lost their lives in war, which I rather doubt Ms Wente would describe as either a “death cult” or “fevered breast-beating.”
But I think I will simply comment on her statement that women in Canada have never been safer than they are today. Whether or not this contention is true is debatable, but it is not actually all that important to this discussion.
Here is why.
December 6th is not about violent crime in general – it is about violence against women. The fact is that, in this country, more than one woman a week is killed by a man who says he loves her.
Hundreds are admitted to hospitals suffering from physical injuries ranging from relatively minor to extremely serious. The extent of and damage caused by psychological abuse cannot be accurately measured or quantified.
Thousands more women find support and safety in battered women’s shelters or from sexual assault and rape crisis centres. Still more stay in abusive relationships because they have nowhere safe to go.
The impact on children of being exposed to this violence is horrendous.
Safer than before? Maybe. But as these numbers indicate, we are still not safe enough. That is what matters.
That approximately 70 women a year are murdered in this country by a partner or former partner is simply unacceptable.
By way of just one comparison, the number of Canadian soldiers killed in the war in Afghanistan is 17 per year. And those are people killed in an acknowledged war, people who have signed on to risk their lives, who have been trained to defend themselves and who are equipped with weapons.
There is a war on women in this country and around the world, and it is a war that women are losing.
Taking one day a year to think about violence against women and to recommit ourselves to ending it does not seem unreasonable.
When we have created a world in which women are truly equal and in which there is no violence against women, I will be more than happy to get a grip and move on.
Until then, I intend to continue to honour the dead on December 6th.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
Remember Resist: 20th Anniversary Memorial for the Montreal Massacre
Every community has its own way of commemorating December 6th. Vancouver Rape Relief and Women’s Shelter uses this opportunity each year to take over public space (the main branch of the Vancouver Public Library) for a public education event.
This year, the Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women, held on December 5th, brought together a diverse group of feminists to talk about male violence against women and strategies for addressing it. The public was invited to engage by attending monologues by feminist speakers, listening to roundtable dialogues among feminist activists, watching feminist films and participating in an interactive activity called “Walk in her shoes.”
The result was an exciting, dynamic and thought-provoking day, in which I had the privilege of participating.
A number of topics were on the agenda, including:
By day’s end, both presenters and participants were left with a feeling of hope that by continuing to educate ourselves and the larger public and by finding ways to work together, through and across differences, we actually will be able to create a world in which women can live free from violence and the threat of violence.
You can learn more about Vancouver Rape Relief and Women’s Shelter or make a donation (VRRWS takes no government funding) by visiting their website: www.rapereliefshelter.bc.ca.
To read my remarks at this event about fathers’ rights, custody and public policy, please click here.
This year, the Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women, held on December 5th, brought together a diverse group of feminists to talk about male violence against women and strategies for addressing it. The public was invited to engage by attending monologues by feminist speakers, listening to roundtable dialogues among feminist activists, watching feminist films and participating in an interactive activity called “Walk in her shoes.”
The result was an exciting, dynamic and thought-provoking day, in which I had the privilege of participating.
A number of topics were on the agenda, including:
- Fighting racism by ending the trafficking and prostitution of women
Fighting the normalization of patriarchy in the forms of cultural relativism, prostitution and religion
Fighting for political, social economic and physical autonomy for women
Resisting capitalism, state power and prostitution in the 2010 Olympics
The impact of fathers’ rights organizations on public discourse and public policy about custody and access
Holding the state accountable on violence against women
Trafficking, prostitution and tourism
Women’s experiences in prison
By day’s end, both presenters and participants were left with a feeling of hope that by continuing to educate ourselves and the larger public and by finding ways to work together, through and across differences, we actually will be able to create a world in which women can live free from violence and the threat of violence.
You can learn more about Vancouver Rape Relief and Women’s Shelter or make a donation (VRRWS takes no government funding) by visiting their website: www.rapereliefshelter.bc.ca.
To read my remarks at this event about fathers’ rights, custody and public policy, please click here.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
December 6th 20 years later
It has been 20 years since Marc Lepine gunned down 14 women at L’Ecole Polytechnique in Montreal specifically because they were women.
This will be the 20th year of speeches and vigils commemorating those murders, of remembering lost hopes and possibilities, of committing ourselves once again to working to eliminate violence against women.
For those of us older than 35 or so, December 6, 1989 is a date indelibly marked on our brain and in our soul. We will forever remember where we were and what we were doing, just as anyone over the age of about 20 remembers every detail of what we were doing on September 11, 2001.
It is shocking to realize that there are now adult women and men who have no memory of their own of this event, university and college students involved in events to mark this event who were not born when the massacre happened.
But to what end do we remember and commemorate?
We know the rhetoric: First mourn, then work for change.
We attend the vigils, we wear the rose button, we give money, we give our time.
But what, really, are we changing?
We seem destined to repeat bad history whatever we do. We know the horrors of Hiroshima and Rwanda, but we still make war. We know of countless examples of genocide, yet the evil of racism continues to flourish. We know what poverty does to people, but we have seemingly done nothing to end it. We have seen firsthand the inevitable results of ignoring our environment, but ecological degradation and destruction continue.
Apparently, ending violence against women is no different.
Shelters are still full. Women and children who have left abusive husbands and fathers are still relying on food banks to put meals on the table by the end of the month. Women continue to return to their abusers because they feel they have no other choice. Men charged with assaulting their wives are still handed slaps on the wrist that do nothing to ensure they don’t do it again. Women who turn to the family court for help often must make their way through the court unrepresented and come out the door with custody orders that force them to remain in contact with their abuser.
And women continue to be murdered – approximately 70 a year in Canada. Put another way, between 2000 and 2006, five times as many women in this country were killed by their partners or former partners as police officers and soldiers (including those serving in Afghanistan) were killed – 500 compared to 100.
Finding an effective strategy for making the changes that will eradicate violence against women and children is not easy.
But it is not impossible.
We can make sure the schools in our community have books that depict positive images of girls and women. We can make sure the school curriculum offers literature courses that include books by women authors, history courses that talk about the fight for women's suffrage, math courses that include girls and women in the exercises. We can support equal funding for girls' sports at schools.
We can challenge our religious institutions to make women's equality a priority.
In our workplaces, we can insist that sexist calendars and pictures be removed. We can watch for sexual harassment. We can organize workshops on harassment and other topics to help educate everyone we work with. We can offer support to our coworkers who are dealing with violence in their homes.
When women or children tell us that bad things happen at home, we can believe and support them.
We can remember that violence against women cuts across all social boundaries -- there is no universal sign painted on a man's face that identifies him as an abuser.
Whether we know it or not, people we know are being abused and are abusing.
We can get involved in campaigns to address violence against women, whether those are campaigns to end women’s and children’s poverty, to reform the law or others. There is one that each one of us could find to support.
We can support organizations working towards women’s equality and an end to violence against women with our time or our money. Every one of us can find one in our community (for example, the women’s shelter, rape crisis centre, women’s counselling centre or food bank) or at the national level (National Association of Women and the Law, Feminist Alliance for International Action, Canadian Research Institute for the Advancement of Women, etc.) to support.
We can hold the media, the police and the government accountable by writing letters every time we hear of inappropriate words or actions.
Sometimes most difficult -- we can challenge ourselves about our own sexism. We can speak out every time we see or hear sexism in our daily lives.
There is no perfect choice. Whatever we do will be fraught with challenges and uncertainties. But we cannot allow that to paralyze us. Our silence and inaction make us complicit with the violence.
Action brings us one step closer to ensuring equality for women and eradicating violence against women and children.
December 6th seems an appropriate time to share a wonderful poem by Marge Piercy.
The Low Road
What can they do
to you? Whatever they want,
they can set you up, they can
bust you, they can break
your fingers, they can
burn your brain with electricity
blur you with drugs till you
can't walk, can't remember, they can
take your child, wall up
your lover. They can do anything
you can't stop them
from doing. How can you stop
them? Alone, you can fight. You can refuse, you can
take what revenge you can
they roll over you.
But two people fighting
back to back can cut through
a mob, a snake-dancing file
can break a cordon, an army
can meet an army
two people can keep each other
sane, can give support, conviction,
love, massage, hope, sex.
Three people are a delegation,
a committee, a wedge. With four
you can play bridge and start
an organization. With six, you can rent a whole house,
eat pie for dinner with no seconds and hold a fundraising party.
A dozen makes a demonstration, a hundred fill a hall.
A thousand have solidarity and your own newsletter,
ten thousand, power and your own paper,
a hundred thousand, your own media, ten million, your own country.
It goes on one at a time,
it starts when you care
to act, it starts when you do
it again after they said no.
it starts when you say WE
and you know who you mean, and each
day you mean one more.
This will be the 20th year of speeches and vigils commemorating those murders, of remembering lost hopes and possibilities, of committing ourselves once again to working to eliminate violence against women.
For those of us older than 35 or so, December 6, 1989 is a date indelibly marked on our brain and in our soul. We will forever remember where we were and what we were doing, just as anyone over the age of about 20 remembers every detail of what we were doing on September 11, 2001.
It is shocking to realize that there are now adult women and men who have no memory of their own of this event, university and college students involved in events to mark this event who were not born when the massacre happened.
But to what end do we remember and commemorate?
We know the rhetoric: First mourn, then work for change.
We attend the vigils, we wear the rose button, we give money, we give our time.
But what, really, are we changing?
We seem destined to repeat bad history whatever we do. We know the horrors of Hiroshima and Rwanda, but we still make war. We know of countless examples of genocide, yet the evil of racism continues to flourish. We know what poverty does to people, but we have seemingly done nothing to end it. We have seen firsthand the inevitable results of ignoring our environment, but ecological degradation and destruction continue.
Apparently, ending violence against women is no different.
Shelters are still full. Women and children who have left abusive husbands and fathers are still relying on food banks to put meals on the table by the end of the month. Women continue to return to their abusers because they feel they have no other choice. Men charged with assaulting their wives are still handed slaps on the wrist that do nothing to ensure they don’t do it again. Women who turn to the family court for help often must make their way through the court unrepresented and come out the door with custody orders that force them to remain in contact with their abuser.
And women continue to be murdered – approximately 70 a year in Canada. Put another way, between 2000 and 2006, five times as many women in this country were killed by their partners or former partners as police officers and soldiers (including those serving in Afghanistan) were killed – 500 compared to 100.
Finding an effective strategy for making the changes that will eradicate violence against women and children is not easy.
But it is not impossible.
We can make sure the schools in our community have books that depict positive images of girls and women. We can make sure the school curriculum offers literature courses that include books by women authors, history courses that talk about the fight for women's suffrage, math courses that include girls and women in the exercises. We can support equal funding for girls' sports at schools.
We can challenge our religious institutions to make women's equality a priority.
In our workplaces, we can insist that sexist calendars and pictures be removed. We can watch for sexual harassment. We can organize workshops on harassment and other topics to help educate everyone we work with. We can offer support to our coworkers who are dealing with violence in their homes.
When women or children tell us that bad things happen at home, we can believe and support them.
We can remember that violence against women cuts across all social boundaries -- there is no universal sign painted on a man's face that identifies him as an abuser.
Whether we know it or not, people we know are being abused and are abusing.
We can get involved in campaigns to address violence against women, whether those are campaigns to end women’s and children’s poverty, to reform the law or others. There is one that each one of us could find to support.
We can support organizations working towards women’s equality and an end to violence against women with our time or our money. Every one of us can find one in our community (for example, the women’s shelter, rape crisis centre, women’s counselling centre or food bank) or at the national level (National Association of Women and the Law, Feminist Alliance for International Action, Canadian Research Institute for the Advancement of Women, etc.) to support.
We can hold the media, the police and the government accountable by writing letters every time we hear of inappropriate words or actions.
Sometimes most difficult -- we can challenge ourselves about our own sexism. We can speak out every time we see or hear sexism in our daily lives.
There is no perfect choice. Whatever we do will be fraught with challenges and uncertainties. But we cannot allow that to paralyze us. Our silence and inaction make us complicit with the violence.
Action brings us one step closer to ensuring equality for women and eradicating violence against women and children.
December 6th seems an appropriate time to share a wonderful poem by Marge Piercy.
The Low Road
What can they do
to you? Whatever they want,
they can set you up, they can
bust you, they can break
your fingers, they can
burn your brain with electricity
blur you with drugs till you
can't walk, can't remember, they can
take your child, wall up
your lover. They can do anything
you can't stop them
from doing. How can you stop
them? Alone, you can fight. You can refuse, you can
take what revenge you can
they roll over you.
But two people fighting
back to back can cut through
a mob, a snake-dancing file
can break a cordon, an army
can meet an army
two people can keep each other
sane, can give support, conviction,
love, massage, hope, sex.
Three people are a delegation,
a committee, a wedge. With four
you can play bridge and start
an organization. With six, you can rent a whole house,
eat pie for dinner with no seconds and hold a fundraising party.
A dozen makes a demonstration, a hundred fill a hall.
A thousand have solidarity and your own newsletter,
ten thousand, power and your own paper,
a hundred thousand, your own media, ten million, your own country.
It goes on one at a time,
it starts when you care
to act, it starts when you do
it again after they said no.
it starts when you say WE
and you know who you mean, and each
day you mean one more.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
